TALKINGSHITCOIN
Tonight's Card · 2026-07-12 · field of 96 weighed in · median liquidity $1,720 · sanctioned by nobody
SHIT Index 180.4 +80.4% Reigning champion ▣ febu 1-0, belt since 2026-07-11, no defenses yet

MAIN EVENT · 5 rounds · HOME vs Hoppy

Green corner · favorite
HOME(1-0)
HOME / SOL
vol $2,833,352
liq $80,086
24h +2,688%
flags 0
VS
5 judged rounds
Red corner · challenger
Hoppy(0-1)
Hoppy / SOL
vol $1,046,358
liq $59,215
24h +574%
flags 0
DESK LINE: HOME -124 · Hoppy +124
implied 55% on the favorite, derived from the composite score, not from our feelings

Tale of the Tape

HOMEHoppy
$2,833,35224h volumeis anyone trading it$1,046,358
$80,086liquiditycan anyone leave$59,215
+2,688%24h movethe candle+574%
35.4xturnover (vol/liq)past 50x smells like wash17.7x
63.6composite scorethe desk's number61.2
0red flagscommission notes0
50,60924h transactionsbodies in the building20,227
7,097unique buyersdistinct wallets, harder to fake3,536
$888,622FDVreported, not judged$576,301

Judges' Scorecard

RoundHOMEHoppy
R1 volume
real trading interest, 1.5x takes the round, 10x takes it big
109
R2 liquidity
depth of the exit door, same bar
1010
R3 momentum
24h move, capped so one candle cannot steal the fight
1010
R4 turnover
healthy churn scores, wash-trade churn is penalized
109
R5 discipline
fewest red flags on file
1010
Totals · unanimous decision5048
The desk's verdictHOME takes it on volume, turnover. Hoppy showed up, which counts for something. Unanimous decision.

The Undercard

LCM(1-0)W
vol $1,066,805 · liq $28,667 · +307%
VS
50-45 · -378/+378
GDWR(0-1)
vol $20,983 · liq $42,731 · +5,478% · ▲1
LCM takes it on volume, turnover, discipline. GDWR spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Unanimous decision.
POINTLESS(0-1)
vol $1,606,780 · liq $22,667 · +122% · ▲1
VS
46-49 · -144/+144
WANSEM(1-0)
vol $10,478,697 · liq $1,621,391 · -6%
ANSEM takes it on volume, liquidity, discipline. POINTLESS spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Split decision.

New Blood · completed pump.fun bonding, now eligible for the arena

DebutWeigh-in liquidityPromotional assistance
Zyph (Zyph) $37,044 walked in unassisted
XGOATS (The SpaceX Goats) $27,531 PAID PROMO
BULLEXE (Bull.exe) $15,762 walked in unassisted
DUMP (Dump) $14,897 walked in unassisted
Grass (The $450 Grass) $13,067 PAID PROMO

Commission Notes · open flags on tonight's participants

FighterFlag on file
GDWR FDV/liquidity absurd
POINTLESS volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading

Flags are mechanical: turnover past 50x liquidity, exit doors under $5k, FDV/liquidity past 500x. A flag costs points on the composite score and loses the discipline round. The commission does not negotiate.

Paid Promotions Desk

The following fighters purchased their own hype. They are quarantined from the card and ineligible for the main event, regardless of score. We report this fact with the gravity it deserves.

FighterVolumeLiquidityStatus
XGOATS $0 $27,531 PAID PROMO
Grass $0 $13,067 PAID PROMO

Every card is archived. Browse past fight nights or read how the judging works.

The Daily Card, in your inbox

Play-by-play of an absurd market, published on a fixed schedule. Subscribe to the newsletter; it costs nothing, unlike the tokens it covers.